My Memories
Today someone said something to me that sort of plays on what I said yesterday. A friend of mine asked what I was doing this weekend. I told her that I was going to take pictures of the girls. She asked “Don’t you take pictures of them daily? How is that any different? Hee Hee” and that sorta upset me. I know she was just teasing and trying to make light of it because I DO take so many pictures as I said yesterday and I send them to my friends to see. I guess they just don’t get it. It’s hard when I feel like even some of my friends just don’t understand. For one, photography is a passion of mine and I don’t feel more like myself than when I’m behind that lens taking pictures. For another, the girls are my life. I want to document every stage…every phase. Everything. I guess I didn’t like feeling like I was being made fun of or even teased about something that I hold so dear. I am taking pictures of my girls this weekend…and not just the normal snapshots I usually take. I got more matching dresses for them (my obsession on Etsy.com is not even laughable at this point) and I wanted to get pictures of them in their costumes before Halloween. So they’re actual real pictures…like not snapshots. Like a mini session. Anyway, I felt like telling her that one day she might regret not documenting her child’s life the way I do. I know that I will never regret it. And I’m know other moms like Heather don’t either.
9 Responses to My Memories
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Everything seems to become a major issue with you or drama. If your dumb friend made a dumb comment (cause that’s what it was, it was mean, stupid and unnecessary, whether intentional or not…there could be ill feelings behind the comments, jealousy, etc. but who cares, let it go, her problem to deal with not yours) then just tell her, “photography is my passion and so are my kids.” smile and walk away or say you have to go and get started. You don’t have to be mean, just let people know what you’re about and what your priorities are. Do what you want to do when you want to do it and don’t make excuses or give reasons why to anyone. Let them figure stuff out on their own.
Easier said than done, but maybe you should practice now so you can nip these moments in the bud before they take an emotional hold on you…not let them grab you and start spinning your head w/obessive thoughts & turning it all into something bigger than what it really is. Quelch the feeling bad all the time.
Things need to roll off of you in a slicker fashion. That’s my opinion.
I know. I’ve lived it. I’ve grown out of it. Go toward the light. Steer away from the negativity. Even if that means cutting people. You, your hubby and those two kids are the only thing that really matter in this world.
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Becky Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
i don’t think EVERYTHING becomes a major issue or drama with me. I just think that i may handle things or see things differently than others do. either way, you’re right about having to let things go and cutting people. but yes, easier said than done.
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No, not everything. Just what I can see that is put out here in public. Poor use of the word, i take it back. “Some things.”
And I am sure you see things differently from other people. Thank God for that. As a stranger, outside of the box, I can see you’re overwhelmed sometimes, like most of out there. I think everyone could learn to find smart ways to cope better. Learn to catch ourselves when we’re doing or saying something that makes us feel icky about ourselves and stop it at that moment. For example: I want to eat smaller portions at dinner. My dr. told me to eat a little and get up and walk away. I will get full when I sit away from the table. One of my fave fast food meals for dinner last night. I knew I could sit and eat until my stomach hurt. Instead I said to myself…this is where you screw up, stop it, do what he says, walk away. change it. Etc. I caught myself at that moment doing something I knew was going to hurt me or make me feel really crappy hours later. It’s hard! Sometimes we’re off our guard, we just don’t care and let the bad win. But if 90% is good, it’ll improve drastically.
Yes, people need to be cut out when they hurt. When you have gone round and round with the same old stuff and nothing can ever be fixed. Yes, even if it seems innocent and unintentional.
Where there is love involved – yeah, you take a lot. You have to. You can’t toss that aside as easily. It’s WORTH taking hits for.
But friends sometimes need to be put in their place. It’s up to us to do that. People can’t read minds – even our husbands. But If we don’t correct the error in the friendship it can’t possibly go forward in a healthy,happy way if that one particular issue isn’t fixed/healed. Moe hills do turn into mountains. Not to mention what negative effects the stress will have on our emotional/mental health, but our physical health too – our immune system. Yes, and open to diseases.
I just get worked up when i see someone younger (n0t by much!) than me taking hit after hit for no reason, esp when they don’t seem like they deserve it. Stand up for yourself more, in a proactive, tactful kind of way. You will be happier. Really, I see a person who has the world by the balls but doesn’t know it. You don’t always have to be the good girl. Compassionate, giving, loving, yes, but you come first, do not have to bow down to everyone, and no guilt should come from that. Ever!
When stress takes over – for me, there is nothing wrong with therapy. Better than any bottle or any pill I can take. ‘Things’ are harder today. And in this sense, yeah, I mean “EVERYTHING.” Sometimes we need professional support systems. Nothing wrong with that and worth every penny. It’s no wonder antidepressant usage is up by tons in the last few years. We are having to deal with everyone DEALING with their own messes, not just our own issues. That’s hard. We are all interconnected and impede onto each other, or should I say bleed? Why it’s good sometimes to chat with someone who has a degree in it. They might be able to give coping strategies. I tried it just to say I did. I owed it to myself. Face it, we all have issues from our past we’d like to set right. Today I like myself more. I don’t feel such a need for things or people. Just like they say, happy inside your own skin.
So…you are not alone. No. You’re just a normal neurotic (like my therapist calls me). Yes, normal. Never perfect…financially, friendships, marriage, kids, etc.
Baby steps.
p.s. sorry for being such a nosey, pushy little witch. I feel like a voyeur.
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Becky Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
thanks for taking the time to write all that! lol that means a lot to me that you’ve really taken the time to see things from my eyes. i will take all of this you said to heart because i think it’s great advice and i needed it. i am way too nice and i do let people walk all over. i am a conflict avoider at all costs. which is not fair to myself. thanks again
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When my nephew was an infant he had this amazing laugh that made everyone else laugh and I told my sister that she should make a recording of his laugh because it would not be the same forever. She did not do this and even though he still has a great laugh and I love to hear it, I miss his new baby laugh a lot!
You don’t realize what you will never hear or see again until it is gone and I think that your passion for taking pictures of your girls only shows that you understand that these times, these stages of their lives are fleating.
I would not bother saying anything to your friend about it, but in your head, tell her to bite you and keep up with the pictures – no regreats!!
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Becky Reply:
October 19th, 2009 at 10:03 am
thanks girl. i appreciate this and you are so right
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I kinda know what you mean. If I talk about blogging or twitter my friends look at me and call me a dork. Our relationship is like that so I know they’re teasing me but it bugs me sometimes because they’ve never blogged or even read a blog and so they have no idea what they are making fun of. I’m just a dork because things on the computer interest me. But mostly I just laugh because they don’t really understand it, and thats their problem not mine.
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take all the pictures you can. my cousins parents past away within a year of each other and when they cleaned out the house to sell they put most of their parents stuff in storage. unfortunately one of the things was their childhood pictures. almost all of which were lost when the storage unit flooded. my mom and i have copied or just given them any pictures of them we have that they wanted. they all have asked for any pictures of them or their parents that we find in our uncle’s house as we clean it out. your girls will love having all those memories from their childhood so don’t let anyone get to you.
NANCY´s last blog ..UPDATE
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Becky Reply:
October 20th, 2009 at 10:00 am
thank you and you are so right
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