Constant battle
If you’re a mom who works outside the home, you totally know how I’m feeling. It’s a constant battle for me- working full time, being gone 12 hours a day, and leaving my kids behind. Because that’s how it feels to me…that I’m leaving them behind. I know that I HAVE to work to have money to pay for the things that give them a decent life. I know that one day they’ll look back and appreciate it just as I appreciate how hard my mom worked to give us things. We barely saw her during the week but it was all for us. That’s how it is now with my kids but oh, does it hurt. I have family and friends that don’t work but their husbands have these big time supervisor jobs for oil companies and I secretly wish that Hubs would quit his current job and do something like that. Something that would allow me to stay home. He loves his job though and the last thing I would want is for him to be stuck working a lot at a job he hates. I hate working…but I don’t actually hate this job. It’s the fact that I have to leave my kids that kills me.
I took a day off in April to go on a field trip with Hannah. I did this because she asked me to. What sucked was when she said to me “Don’t forget to ask your boss for permission ok?”
That stung.
The fact that I have to ask permission to be with my child. How is that fair? I mean, everyone who works has to ask for a day off. But still…chokes me up everytime to think that I have to ask to be with my kid if it’s a work day. It’s just not fair as so often many things in life aren’t.
So now I’m quite excited about this field trip. I’m excited that I get to go and be there for her since most days I can’t.
I was given this blog post to read yesterday and I cried through the whole thing. It gave me hope. It gave me some insight. Mostly, it reminded me of things I already knew. I’m not saying that I’ll ever get over this. I know myself and I know that I’ll always hate working all day and always hate the fact that I can’t be a stay at home mom. But to remember that there are other moms out there who are going through the same exact thing, well this is all for you.
For us.
10 Responses to Constant battle
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My mom worked all through my childhood as did my dad. The thing you have to remind yourself is we all make choices. Is it better to have a mom home full time with a dad who is never home because he has a big fancy job that requires long hours and travel? There are pluses and minuses to every decision we make. I like to look at my childhood in two ways … first, I had an amazing, strong, independent, smart mother who was a phenomenal role model for her children and second, I learned so much more from the other care takers in my life, whether they were friends, family or babysitters. Being socialized from a young age is really wonderful.
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I am so sorry that you feel that way. It must suck to be away from the girls when you want to be with them. I think you need to hit the lottery!
As a workers without children, my girlfriends and I always talk about lucky the working moms in the office are. Like they can sneak out to see pageants or whatever at school and are rarely asked to stay until midnight when a deadline is looming. They get first crack at vacation time between Christmas and New Years. They can work from home if their kid sick. Their time is just more respected than my time and our pay is the same.
Well, for your sake, I hope your office is considerate of working mothers like mine is.
Karen´s last blog ..Help
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Yep, I know this all to well. Going to read that post now with the hopes it won’t make me cry at work.
Loves to you!
Katie (aka Kekibird)´s last blog ..El Natural…GOOP Bath Salts
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I feel ya, Becks. I’m right there with you. It’s insanity. So much stuff just slips through the cracks. I operate at 75% at best because I’m spread so thin.
Lex – @laprimera´s last blog ..oh goodness
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It isn’t just moms who feel the way you do. I’d much rather be at home with Kaci than putting up with BS at work.
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Hugs mama. You are an amazing mother and your children are proud of you and love you. They will understand everything you gave up to give them the things they had one day.
Lisa´s last blog ..Preventing Pre-term Births and Stillbirths
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I’m taking the day off for a field trip in April too!
We’re going to see Alice In Wonderland. Where is Hannah’s class off to?
My daughter tells me all the time, “I want to be a teacher, a cheerleader, and a mommy when I grow up.” I’m two of those things…don’t know where the cheerleader comes in though.
We’re good role models for our little girls, Becky.
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Hugs sweetie! I can’t say that I know how you feel but I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry you can’t be home
And now I feel silly even commenting on this particular post but I still wanted you to know that.
Priscilla-wheelchair Mommy´s last blog ..Aunt Mavis came to visit
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It’s the hardest thing, isn’t it? I just started working again and the transition has been a tough one. And it makes me REALLY appreciate my full-time working mom!!
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you know how I feel about this one. I appreciate the job and the money, but when it’s not something you love it drains you emotionally as well.
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