Marriage talk
Last night Hubs and I forgot that Livie sleeps like crap and I have to get up at 5:30 and we stayed up til 12:15 talking. It’s been AGES since we’ve done that. When you have a baby who sleeps in between you and her sleeping habits suck it’s hard to really want to stay up and talk. Sleep wins every time. For some reason Livie was knocked out last night in some kind of comatose state so we were able to lay in bed and talk to eachother while she slept right next to us. It was bliss in it’s purest form for us. We’ve appreciated Livie’s baby-ness in a different way because we saw how fast Hannah went from Livie’s stage to what she is now. So as we laid there we talked. We got deep. We talked about how my friends will tell me that we’re the perfect couple and our marriage is awesome and if we ever divorced they’d lose faith in marriage. It’s flattering to hear that my friends think that BUT they just have no idea. I’ve said this here before but I don’t put our dirty laundry out there…just let it be known that Hubs and I have our share of issues. BUT it’s still nice to know that people at least respect us as a strong married couple.
Because we are. And that is true.
So our conversation moved to our 11 1/2 years together…how we’ve grown up together…how we became adults together and found our place in life together….how we’ve built this family out of our love for eachother….how we work through A LOT to keep things smooth because while Hannah doesn’t see it now, she’s pretty damn lucky that she has two parents that are still married and in love. Lots of people stay married out of obligation or convenience. We stay married because we are still in love with eachother. Being in love and loving someone are 2 different things. I love Hubs. And I’m IN love with Hubs. He’s IN love with me. I don’t take this for granted. We have our share of differences but at the end of the day, there is no one else we’d rather be with.
Discussing this at 12:07 at night isn’t exactly the norm but I think that every now and then you just have to remind eachother that the other one is still right there next to you and walking beside you.
19 Responses to Marriage talk
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I love this pic. It’s not posed and shows how happy your are.
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Becky Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Aw thanks. It’s old but I love it. @jennster actually took it!
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love it, feel you and understand you.
smooches
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So sweet. I love this post. I am a little jealous to be honest. I want that in my life too.
Karen´s last blog ..Question of the Day #2
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You and I are on the same page in regards to our marriages and airing dirty laundry. The minute you allow negativity in an put it out in the open, you will attract more negativity and then it manifests itself in your conscience. I protect my marriage as fiercely as I protect my child. It’s so sacred, and it can so easily be destroyed…IF YOU ALLOW IT TO BE. I am so lucky, blessed, that my husband and I are so deeply in love with each other…that we still are. It’s so rare that a marriage lasts these days, and I’m in it for the long haul. Thankfully, so is my man. He is my every happiness, my every peace, my every joy and love in this world; and by extension, so is my son. I really loved this post, Becky. You are such a great writer, and I know I’ve said it before, but you are SO my people, my tribe.
Tricia´s last undefined ..Response cached until Thu 18 @ 2:20 GMT (Refreshes in 10.14 Hours)
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you KNOW i love you two! smooooches. one day maybe i’ll be so lucky
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Those night time conversations can sometimes be the best, even if it’s about a tough topic. Something about the dark and the kids sleeping and the quiet that brings out the deepest conversations. And relationships aren’t as much about luck as they are about work and working together. Major props to your great relationship
)
Katie (aka Kekibird)´s last blog ..Follow Friday – Keep Me Laughing Ladies
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Eleven and a half years … that’s really impressive, Becky! I totally agree with you that it’s important to remind yourself why you’re with someone. From time to time I ask Sweets if he’s happy. And then if he’s happy with me/us. Sometimes his answer is along the lines of yes, silly. And other times, it provides a platform to chat. No one’s relationship is perfect, but open communication is key to making things work!
BTW, your post made me wonder something. Do most parents sleep with their tot in bed these days? If so, for how long? You’re not the first person who has mentioned this … and I guess I’m surprised. I always figured if I had a kid, they might sleep in the same room as me, but not the same bed … and would get their own room within a few months. (Naive me?)
Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks´s last blog ..Postal
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Issa Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
Thought I’d answer this one.
Depends on the kid.
My first two didn’t sleep with me. My youngest (nearly 18 months) isn’t a great sleeper, so a lot of nights he does sleep with me. Saves me from getting up with him and then having to put him back down, which in turn keeps my older two awake.
Issa´s last blog ..Issa makes a cake…also see: Issa has lost her mind
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Becky Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
i actually sent her a LONG email explaining it LOL
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I adore the picture. I think, that you have those talks when you can. i think it’s important. It keeps communication open.
I’m…yeah. I’m thrilled for you two.
Issa´s last blog ..Issa makes a cake…also see: Issa has lost her mind
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I love this post Becky. It reminds me of exactly what marriage is about. And how I always felt about it too. I disagree with some of your commenters though, in that sometimes no matter how much you put into it, the other partner may not be in it for the long haul. I always thought my husband was, but it turned out differently. It doesn’t mean I didn’t pour my heart and soul into it for almost fourteen years and no matter how hard things got (and they did), I never lost hope or faith in it, because I believe with all my heart it’s forever. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel that way any more and left, but I would never had made that choice had I been given one.
I like the way you point out that it’s hard work. Because it is. It’s constant work and I think that’s what makes it sacred. I’m glad you got to talk. It’s so hard when you have little ones and you need to remind yourself that those things are so important to the survival of a strong relationship.
I’m really happy for you that you have the gift of someone who takes it as seriously as you do. Who loves you and is in love with you. It’s a precious gift that you have. I didn’t realise how precious, till I lost it. I admire you for being so strong together. Your girls are lucky. They truly are.
Thanks for this post, it made me feel better about how hard I worked at my marriage.
Tricia : ) x
Tricia (irishsamom)´s last blog ..Singleness of Purpose
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Love this. It’s never ever a bad thing to lose a few hours to reconnect with someone you love.
Miss´s last blog ..Nine
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this is the best fucking post ever!!!! and um, GREAT PIC! i freaking love it and it makes me miss you both sooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!! (husband swapping won’t ruin a marriage right??)
i love that while you and the man have a great relationship, you aren’t afraid to admit that it isn’t perfect.. or say that you guys NEVER fight, or unrealistic shit like that. we had a “friend” at the forum who always claimed that her relationship was blissful 24/7.. never any issues, never any name calling, never anything negative. and she did that in a way that it made other people feel bad, or stupid for having a relationship that HAD issues. and it was a lie. butshe liked that people thought her man was 100% respectful of her and her views/friends/etc all the time.
i think it’s important that people like and respect your relationship and marriage, but also can see that it’s real. and that of course there are issues. of course you guys fight. of course there is shit “wrong” but that doesn’t make it bad. and it doesn’t make it not okay. it makes it a fucking marriage. and you work through it. and you love through it. and that is what makes a relationship healthy.
if you and the man ever split up, i’m marrying you both.
jennster´s last blog ..in the process..
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Becky Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 8:03 am
You know how much he loves you and point. Seriously. You, Point, Cat and Chris…you are OUR people. He misses y’all just like I do and talks about going to Reno all the time so we can see both of you. Too bad we can’t go anytime soon. But yes, it’s real. He pisses me off and annoys me and I’m sure he gets sick of me…but at the end of the day, it’s us. Me and him. Like it has been for years now. LOVE YOU!
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Awe Becky I just love you guys. I know if we lived remotely near each other we would so hang out. You guys remind me SO MUCH of Mike and I. Loving each other and being IN LOVE with each other is something not everyone in this world gets. We are very lucky in that respect. Love this. xo
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Becky, you are a doll! We STILL have Ella in between us… and she’s 2 1/2! I’m so ready to get her out of my bed!
Amanda (Garibay Soup)´s last blog ..Mr. Jayden Garibay
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I love this picture. Look how happy you are. It shows by how radiant your face is! either that.. or you got it on in the car LOL
pamela´s last blog ..#NewMoon Summary
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Oh that is lovely. You look so happy
I also this that it is REALLY great that you guys had several years of marriage together before starting to have children. (Right? My math is right? 11 1/2 years – 7? 
) To cement that bond and really strengthen what exists between the two of you before the stress and pressure of a family happens. I wish more people did that. It’s so smart.
Kellee´s last blog ..Sunday Share on a Monday Morning
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