Photographs
Hannah asked me the other day why I take so many pictures of her and the baby and I told her that I needed them to look at when I was at work all day long. She asked me if it was because I missed them and I said yes, all day. I miss them all day.
“Do you cry when you see us?”
“Sometimes but usually I just smile and can’t wait to get home.”
I have over 3,000 pictures of Hannah in my Flickr. I started my Flickr account when Hannah was 3 so in 4.5 years I’ve taken that many photos of her. I have over 1,500 pictures of Livie since the day she was born. Almost everyday I go back and look at old pictures of them and yes, usually smile but sometimes cry because I’d love nothing more than to NOT be at work and instead be home with them. And yes, it’s also true that I AM craving a break from being a mommy right now. Life has become a bit overwhelming and The Man and I have a trip coming up in a couple weeks to see our friends we haven’t seen in 2 years. I’m very excited about this trip and looking forward to a break from my life here…including the girls. I can’t even type that without feeling a tremendous amount of guilt. But it’s the truth and I’ve never been in the business of lying on my blog. I try to lay it all out there because this is me and my space and I have to believe that there’s someone out there who feels the same way I do and I want them to know that it’s ok to feel that way. I love my girls and everyday I get off work and rush home to see them. With that said, I do need a break. I need to miss them for a few days. I need to sleep in and relax and laugh and talk about grown up things instead of what Miranda Cosgrove or Selena Gomez are up to.
I wasn’t planning on blogging today but after getting here and thinking about the week ahead at work and feeling down I had to look at old pictures to pick me back up. I found some that I’ve never posted here and yet I love them and I can’t remember why they didn’t go up to begin with.
I kind of miss her hair. She doesn’t and it IS so much easier to handle now that it’s short but man…if I took the time to straighten it it always looked so pretty.
And this girl…she LOVES books so when we went to Ohio a few weeks ago she went crazy seeing The Man’s grandma’s book shelf.
So today is old picture day for me. And I’m swimming in them.
3 Responses to Photographs
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hahaha, livie loves trashy romance novels
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I love looking at old pictures. Maya and I were just looking through some baby pictures of her, when she itty bitty. It is so nice to have old pictures to look back on, to spark memories, to make us smile.
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thank you for the kind words you sent my way…i tell you – that really made my day!
i know EXACTLY what you mean when you say how much you love your girls…but need that time away from them as well. i TOTALLY get that! time with you and ‘your man’ is very much needed..i completely get that….it’s important for your marriage to remain strong and happy…you both need that alone time with each other…i believe that it makes for a better marriage and the ability to be the best loving parents you can be.
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i’m divorced..i didn’t mention that before..(that is one thing that we don’t have in common)..so i guess i’m not the best to be giving out marital advice..OR..i could be considered an expert on what NOT to do in a marriage..ha..
i was married 20 years when i got divorced, so i do understand what it’s like and the pressures that come with kids..and work..and everyday life..!!
i’ve always loved and actually ‘craved’ time to myself – alone – (which, for me..is virtually impossible and extremely hard to come by)! but – at the same time with that -i feel SO completely awful and guilty..and feel like if something ever did happen to my girls, i’d be all alone all the time..and omgoodness – that would just be horrible – unthinkable…unimaginable…
so we mom’s do live with a whole lot of worry and guilt!
anyway…try not to worry or feel bad about those types of feelings…we ALL (or most) have those same feelings…it’s VERY hard to even admit!
i suppose you just HAVE to try and enjoy ALL the time you have, whether it be family time…time spent together with your children, alone time with your spouse, or time alone all by yourself…we just need to enjoy our life..!!
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