Today has been hard for me. Anxiety levels are rising as I think about all that needs to be done at work and at home before we leave Saturday for Ohio. I’m trying to breathe through it but it’s not always that easy. I’m trying to take it one thing at a time but again, not always that easy. And so I spent my weekend among those kind of feelings. Sometimes I was laughing and breathing and taking it one thing at a time. Sometimes I was having little mental breakdowns and holding back tears thinking about how there is never enough time and I only have two hands. This whole being a mom and a wife and a secretary…trying to balance everything out and split my time…well it’s hard y’all. Very hard. I have friends tell me they have no idea how I do it all. Honestly, I have no idea either. I’m tired ALL the time. I’m stressed out most of the time. I just try to push things things to the backburner and keep on keeping on because when I look back at my life I don’t want to only remember the big stress ball that I was. I want to look back and feel proud of myself…feel like I did the best job I could most of the time with my girls and that I seized the day instead of let the day seize me. Today I felt like the day was seizing me. And at that moment I pushed work aside and edited some photos for this blog. I blog when I need to release emotions and the words just flow without much thought. So that’s what I’m doing now. Flowing. Seizing the day.

My  baby is trying to write. She gets a crayon out and colors on whatever paper or in this case, dry erase board, she can find.

I see her watching Hannah all the time. She mimics her reading her books or coloring and even talking. It seems like she’s doing everything sooner than Hannah because she has Hannah to watch. She wants to be just like her. Isn’t that how it always ends up?

Of course Hannah takes her own liberties in being the big sister and I let her when it comes to trivial things like giving Livie bunny ears. Rite of passage, right? I never had a big sister. I’m the oldest so I don’t know what it’s like but I imagine that it must be pretty cool to have someone who may pick on you but loves you as much as your parents do and looks out for you just as much without all the mom and dad responsiblities like punishing you or making you do chores.

And among the photo shoot and our date night out, we found time to decorate for Christmas.

Oh yes, you read right. I realize it’s only the middle of November. But we are leaving for Ohio this weekend and we won’t be back til Sunday afternoon NEXT weekend. The weekend after that is Hannah’s birthday party and another photo shoot. That would have put me to December 11 to have time to decorate and um yeah, that’s WAY too late. So we did it early again this year.

I tell you what. There is nothing like having the tree shining in the living room. Last night we had all the lights off except the tree, turned the fire on, and cuddled on the couch with wine under the blankets as our babies slept upstairs. It was so cozy and comfy and MAN I live for nights like that. My favorite kind of nights.

By the way, Livie is scared of the Christmas tree. I knew it’d all be new to her this year because last year she wasn’t even a year old. It’s amazing how much they grow in a year. She spent the evening hollering at the tree and saying “HOT!” and “UGHHHHH” and pointing to it while babbling in an angry tone. It was hilarious and also a relief because we worried she’d be destroying the tree the second we turned our heads. That’s not the case. It’s quite the opposite.

So while I was busy this weekend, I lived this weekend. We all did. And while I’m so excited for Thanksgiving next week and Christmas next month, I’m glad we found time for this:

I hope you did too.