Birthdays…and more Christmas
This weekend we celebrated Christmas some more.
Our annual trip to the Festival of Lights did not dissapoint.
Also included? A night out with friends.
Livie had a Christmas program at church. The cute overflowed.
And then? My baby turned 9.
We woke up Sunday morning to a 9 year old who was wide awake and whispering “It’s my birthday!!” to us. She opted out of a big party in exchange for money to go shopping. It’s official. My baby is not a baby anymore.
Did I mention she asked for Coach purses for her birthday or Christmas?
It’s been a busy week with birthdays and Christmas and last minute EVERYTHING. It’s exactly the kind of busy I want to be. Hope your week is just as eventful.
One last thing? Someone has big girl panties on.
Potty training has begun. Hold me.
My birthday weekend
This was probably the most low key birthday I’ve had in a long time. I usually have a night out planned with The Man and friends no matter what age I’m turning. I always pictured my 30th to be a big party weekend but instead it was quiet and spent with just my family.
I was ok with this.
I have a big party trip planned for in a couple months, rest assured. There WILL be partying done to celebrate this milestone birthday. But this weekend was about what I’m always grateful for: spending time with my family.
We went to the San Jacinto Monument on Saturday. This is the place where Texas won her freedom from Mexico. It’s a big deal around these parts. I had never been and neither had my girls so The Man was all about getting us there to “get our learn on” on a Saturday. He’s a history buff. So we indulged him and went.
And I did learn stuff like the battle was only 18 minutes long. Cuhrazy. The girls were pretty unamused but they looked cute and were mostly behaved so it was a win.
And the monument? Massive. Another fact: It’s the tallest monument in the US. Taller than the Washington Monument in DC.
And to continue with the low key, instead of going out to eat The Man decided to make my favorite steak dinner at our favorite steak place at home instead.
It was AMAZING to say the least.
Yesterday was my actual birthday and I woke up to these.
The Man made us breakfast…we relaxed and watched movies and tv shows…then we spent our evening up at The Man’s dad’s house.
It was a great evening surrounded by people who love me. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
So yup. I’m 30 now and I’m happy TO be 30. It was a very happy birthday.
She turned 2
Friday night I snugged up with Liv on the couch. I hugged her tighter and kissed her more than usual. I thought to myself that when we woke up the next day it would be her birthday and my baby would be 2 and not 1.
When we woke up I decided that she wasn’t really 2 until 7:27 pm that night. For some reason that made me feel better. I told a friend today that doesn’t have any kids that every birthday makes a mama a bit sad because her baby is growing up. Birthdays are bittersweet to me when it comes to my girls. I love that they’re getting older but I’m sad that they’re getting older…make sense? Liv started off her day with her bottle and I was more than okay with that because hello, the whole kind of sad about her being 2 thing I had going on. We had a busy morning and finally we were all ready to head out to Nana’s house for the party.
I’m pretty sure one of those last 2 pictures will be on my next phone case. Just sayin.
Then it was party time.
She was very excited about everyone singing to her.
And then it was time for presents. After sneaking play time with Hannah’s Woody and Jessie dolls, she finally got her own. Along with a Buzz Lightyear to complete her collection.
She had a good party.
Yesterday I woke up and I was happy. I was no longer a little sad about Liv turning 2. Instead I was excited. It was a gorgeous mid 60s sun shiney day yesterday and days like that beg for time outside.
It was a great weekend and I’m so thankful for my family and friends who made Livie’s party so great and got her such fabulous presents. We are truly a blessed family and my girls have great lives because of them. So we did it….we gave our baby girl the best birthday party a 2 year old can ask for.
A 2 year old.
My 2 year old and me. Love.
You’re turning 2 tomorrow
Dear Livie,
It’s a tradition of mine to write letters to my babies on their birthdays. I’ve done it for your sister since her 4th birthday which was the first birthday that I had a blog for. I wrote you a long letter last year and pretty much sobbed the whole way through it and even made a video slide show because it was your first birthday and everyone knows that first birthdays are special. I took a ton of pictures at both of y’all’s first birthdays because you’ll never remember it but I wanted you both to know that we made a big deal about it because to us, it was very special.
Tomorrow you turn 2. 2 seems so much older than 1.
I took 1312 pictures of you this year. Yes you read that right. 1312. I went through all thirteen hundred pictures of you for this blog post. I got teary eyed looking through all those photos because before my eyes you grew up. I smiled remembering all those days…remembering when you took your first steps at 14 months old or when you and your sister became friends…or when your baby talk started to make sense…and even at the amount your hair grew this year and how crazy it became. All of it made me so emotional.
The day you took your first steps I was at work. I missed it and believe me, the mommy guilt reigned supreme for days. I realize that I have to work right now to provide for you and that’s the best gift I can ever give you….but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t tear up when your dad sent me a video of you walking to your sister. I smiled and teared up and then felt that pit in my stomach grow. It’s never a good feeling when you miss out on something so huge with your kids and yet, I was so proud of you because you FINALLY decided to let go.
And here I am again, through teary eyes, remembering this past year. Some days seemed long while others flew by. We had many a long night with you early in your 2nd year. You woke up A LOT and still wanted bottles at night and it was a whole thing with us 3. But later on we finally broke you of middle of the night bottles and after that? Smooth sailing.
We thought that maybe since your sister has a such a big personality that you would have a quieter one and be more reserved. That is not the case. You are loud and boistrous and probably have an even bigger personality than your sister which amazes us. You’re funny and silly and entertain all of us.
Some things you enjoyed this year? Swimming.
Playing with Hannah.
At some point this year you realized that you’d let your sister take care of you. You realized that she was cool and she knew stuff and y’all could have a secret bond that only exists with sisters.
I’m not very close to my sisters so this always warmed my heart because my prayer is for you both to remain close your whole lives. There’s nothing like having a sister and you both figured that out together this year.
Playing.
Holidays:
And you don’t know it yet, but you really DO love Santa. Trust me.
My favorite pictures of you though are ones where you’re just looking at me. I think they captured you for who you truly are… are beautiful little lady with so much life and spirit. I’m already so proud of you.
It’s been an awesome year, Liv. You’ve brought us so much life. Yes, I tell Hannah she’s special because she made me a mama, which is true. But you? You are my baby and will always be the baby in the family. We share something special because I learned a lot raising Hannah and grew up a lot. I literally made mental lists of things I’d do differently with you and I stuck to them. Be more patient. Hug more. Kiss more. Play more. Take more pictures. I feel like I perfected my art of mothering with you. Granted, I still feel like a failure A LOT but most days, I’m happy with how I’ve been with you. You are my baby girl and I cherish the bond we have because while your sister always wanted your dad or Nana more, you wanted me more. I never knew that feeling before, to have a child who wants me more than anyone else. I love it.
You do love your dad though and spend the whole day with him while I’m at work and Hannah’s at school. He loves being home with you all day and I love getting calls or texts from him telling me the funny things you say or do.
Tomorrow we will decorate. Tomorrow we will watch as you open presents with excitement. Tomorrow we will sing to you and tell you happy birthday. Tomorrow you will be 2. But today? Today you’re still 1 and I will wrap my mommy arms around this whole day because yes, I’m excited for you to grow up and for all the things you’ll say and do and be, but I’m also a little sad to let my baby go. I know that 2 is a big year. I remember 2 for Hannah and she grew up SO much in that year. I’ll miss you just being a baby. So today, that’s what I’ll cling to.
Happy birthday baby girl. You rock my world. We love you.
Happy 8th Birthday
Dear Hannah,
Since I began this blog it’s been my tradition to write you a letter on your birthday. This is the first year that I’m considering letting you read it. I always figured you’d read these later when you’re older and will appreciate them more but I’m thinking that you would appreciate it now…at least this year. I went through 720 pictures for this blog post. That’s how many pictures I’ve taken of you this year. 720.
You started your year with 2 missing teeth. You were in 1st grade. You were still dancing but dreaming of horses. It seems like yes, some things have changed but yet some things have remained the same.
I said in my last post that you and I have been on this motherhood journey together for these 8 years. You have a part of my soul that no one else will ever have…not even your sister who I love just as much as you. But I love you both differently, yet equally. You were the one that made me a mother. You were the one that began this journey for us both. You were the one who taught me what it’s like to love someone so much you think you might die from the intensity. You were the one who has taught me the ultimate patience of keeping it together while the person you love the most in this world tests you beyond your limits. It’s not been an easy road for us…but we’re learning together.
We’ve had many talks this year about your attitude and about my yelling and through it all every night we hug each other and give each other a kiss as I tuck you in, no matter how bad our day has been. I know we’ll always have a rough road. We will always clash because you’re just so head strong. You as the child and me as the parent, this doesn’t work so well. But you as the adult you’ll one day be? It’s going to be your BEST trait. I wish I had that trait, trust me. You are braver and stronger and more self confident than I ever will be.
You gave up dancing this year. It made me sad because earlier in the year you were amazing. You got your first trophies and did your first solo and totally kicked butt. I was so proud of you and every time you got on stage my heart stopped beating and my face was locked in a smile while I choked back tears. You were amazing and beautiful.
You are so beautiful. I realize a mother is biased toward their kids but this is not a biased opinion. And even if co workers or friends or other family didn’t tell me that daily, I’d still know it was true. You know this though. You know how truly gorgeous you are and I never want you to forget that, no matter how “fat” you think you are one day or how many boys tease you in school.
Your sister turned 1 this year and you tried your hardest to create a bond with her. She was no longer the tiny baby you could hold and cuddle. She was mobile and developed her own (HUGE like you) personality and decided at some point that her big sister annoyed her. It really hurt your feelings and it broke my heart but you, being you, pressed on because you were determined to make her love you like you loved her.
And then something happened.
She changed. She started to love being around you and with you. She started to WANT to play and WANT to run around with you. It made my heart feel like it was going to explode because THAT was exactly what I had always pictured when I dreamed of mine and your dad’s lives together.
You’ve had an amazing year. You traveled and saw things you never saw before. You laughed and cried and struggled.
You yelled and screamed and hugged and kissed. You made us laugh. You made us frustrated.
But never once have I EVER wanted the real you to change. The you that smiles shyly before laughing hysterically. The you that makes up jokes. The you that gets so excited about anything iCarly, Selena Gomez, or the Jonus Brothers.
The you that loves make up and jewelry and nail polish. The you that wants to help me do housework.
The you that took care of me this year when I was SO so sick and couldn’t do anything for myself….the you that made bottles for your sister and got me drinks and checked on me every 30 minutes to make sure I was ok. I will NEVER forget those few days and what you did for me when the WHOLE family was out of town and it was just us.
No matter what happens to you in your life…no matter who are your friends or who you pick to marry (which by the way takes me to a WHOLE other level of sad when I think about you getting married and leaving)…no matter what career you choose or where you go with your life, never forget this: I will ALWAYS be your biggest fan. I will always cheer you on and support you. I will always rally with you and stand up for you. I will always work to be the best mom I can for you, even it means grounding you or taking things away from you in order to teach you what’s right and make you a better person. Being a good parent means upsetting your kids every now and then because WE know what’s best for you. I’ll take those days though of you yelling “That’s not fair!” because one day you’ll hug me and tell me “Thank you”. I’m sure of this.
I love you more than life itself and I will NEVER hesitate to do anything and everything for you. It’s been 8 years, Nettie. 8 years of laughs and tears and late nights and ER visits and hugs and nail polish and make up and jewelry and homework and LIFE. 8 years, you and me.
Happy birthday, baby.
Happy Christmas
Totally off topic but that John Lennon song “Happy Christmas” is one of my favorites. If you don’t know what it is, look it up. It’s fab.
Anyway, Christmas is a month long celebration in our family and since I adore Christmas, I love it all. I love that we do something every weekend for Christmas. I love that I ordered the cutest clothes for the girls on Etsy for Christmas to wear all month long. I love all the Christmas trees and decorations and Christmas foods. And this year I’m even loving that I’m shredding through the Christmas season because I swear I’ve munched and snacked much more than normal but how can I not when people walk around with delicious goodies EVERY DAMN DAY?! I’m still losing weight amazingly so even though I hate her, I love her, that Jillian Michaels.
Saturday was Hannah’s birthday party. Her birthday isn’t until the 18th but like every year, I like to have her party a few weeks before her birthday so it’s not right before Christmas. I like to separate her birthday from Christmas. It makes it more special.
This year for the first time ever I didn’t have her party at our house or my MIL’s house. She wanted to invite her school friends and it’s just too hard to have all those kids there AND family crammed into our houses. Plus this made it easier on me to not have to prepare much ahead or clean up much after AND it was 2 hours and bam, it’s done. At home parties end up being 6 or 7 hours because you decorate before and clean up after.
As always she made out with tons of gifts, including this gift we got her. The Fur Real Go GO pup that walks and barks. She’s been asking for this for months. She was so excited.
Yesterday we took the annual kids’ Christmas pictures. Every year I take about 100 pictures and maybe 10 are usable, good pictures. The rest are hilarious and we look at them over and over and laugh. There’s always a cryer which before Livie was born was The Man’s cousin’s kids but now that Livie is here she’s joined in with the cryers. There’s always one or two kids looking away and another picking their nose or grabbing their head. They’re classic. I usually don’t post pictures of other people’s kids on my blog but sometimes I have to make an exception.
This is one of those times.
This was the 1st picture I took. Right off the bat, Liv is screaming.
I love this one solely because Hannah’s head cocked to the side like that was so stinkin cute and SO her.
I really like this one of the girls and now I really wish I would have waited to design my Christmas cards til after this shoot. I assumed that I wouldn’t get one good picture of them together but I was wrong. I’m considered ordering wallets of this shot and putting them in with my Christmas cards but then I thought that 98% of the people I send cards to are on my Facebook anyway so they’ll see it.
And you know she couldn’t let the shoot go without at least one picture of that sassy face of hers. Too bad she doesn’t realize that I actually love it when she makes that face. It makes me laugh.
I hope you all had a good weekend and that you’re taking pictures of your kids this month. They’re only young once and you won’t regret having them when they’re grown.
And then the clouds parted
Friday evening I went home with a completely bummed outlook on life. I was still thinking about my dad and even though I told myself that Dad wouldn’t want me to bum around or sulk, I just couldn’t shake it. So I did what I normally do when I feel that way. I took pictures of my girls. And it’s like they knew that their mama needed to be lifted up because everything they did was so cute and whenever I need to focus or redirect I just have to look through my lens. A different view on what’s already in front of me.
Livie has this tendency to get into EVERYTHING she’s not supposed to get into. Usually I’m chasing after her telling her no but that night I decided I’d get it documented to show her that she really was quite a little spazz.
Trying to steal the remote.
Trying to reach my purse
ALMOST getting my purse which by the way I only noticed while I was editing because my focus was on Hannah in HER own purse and then I saw Livie’s little hand on the bottom of the frame. Stinker.
And while I worked out Livie got super antsy and crabby and Hannah decided to step in and be a mama to her. So in the middle of my work out I just walked away and got a picture because I couldn’t let the moment go by.
So that was my Friday and by the end of the night I was feeling ok again. My girls, once again, healed me.
And since I mentioned working out, I will say that I’ve officially lost 15 pounds so far. I’m halfway to my goal weight and I feel great.
Saturday morning I woke up and forgot it was my birthday for about 5 minutes. We just laid in bed and talked to Livie and groaned that it was too early to be up like we do every Saturday. And like every other Saturday I grabbed my phone off the dresser and checked my email. I had 27 unread emails and I thought to myself “What the heck? How do I have that many unreads?” and once I opened up my email and saw they were all Facebook messages alerting me that my friends and family were leaving me birthday messages…that’s when I said out loud “Oh yeah! It’s my birthday!” I got over 50 happy birthday messages on Facebook and about 20 on Twitter. I can’t stress enough the good those did me. The Man worked all day Saturday and I ran errands and fought with the girls who didn’t want to behave AT ALL while we were in stores. It was hot and I was sweaty going in and out of places and I finally called The Man at work with an exhausted sigh and whined that my day went from fabulous to sucking. Then he said he was coming home in an hour and that perked me up. We had plans to go to dinner and a movie later on so I put my best face on and headed home from the parking lot of Target where I had a minor breakdown. And like the night before, I took picture because I needed a pick me up. And it worked.
Dinner was good. The movie, Inception, was great. And yesterday we slept in because the girls were gone and ran more errands and relaxed before our family pictures in the evening. Hannah wouldn’t let me get a picture of her all dressed up but the baby did, per usual.
I can’t wait to get these pictures back. Livie was a mess and did not cooperate at all and it was 95 degrees and my hair was huge and frizzy and we were sweaty BUT I still think they’re gonna be awesome. I can’t wait to see them. And on our way home from the session I was thankful that I had the opportunity to get the camera that I always wanted with the lens I always wanted to get good pictures of my girls on my own because there are times, like at that session, where Livie won’t smile and Hannah complains about the mosquitos while sweat is dripping down her nose. It’s then that I’m glad I get good shots at home because my baby girl usually is all smiles.
And all of this, everything I put up in this post, healed me. And I know that is something my dad would be happy about.
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