Livie

The never ender

You know, I thought once we brought Livie home from the hospital last week things were going to be all uphill from there. Sure, we always have the normal worries or hassles like bills, homework, weather, etc… But sickness, especially when it’s your kids, is hard.

VERY hard.

So on Tuesday night when Livie spiked a fever of 101.6 I knew something was still wrong. She’s still coughing but it’s not nearly as bad as it was. Any time I ask her if anything hurts she just moans and doesn’t tell me what the problem is. I think since this whole being sick/things hurting stuff is new to her she doesn’t know how to convey that to us.

So back to the doctor AGAIN for us yesterday. I swear I paid someone’s salary with the amount of money I’ve spent on copays in the past month. The diagnosis THIS time? Ear infections. Turns out the infected left ear from before never got better and now the right one is infected too. Call me crazy but I was relieved to hear that. I knew that was easy to find and fix and wouldn’t requre extensive tests or poking or prodding and most of all, would not require the hospital. When I told Liv that we were going to the doctor again she told me ” I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

Kid won’t tell me what’s hurting but can tell me that whole sentence clear as day.

Doesn’t surprise me. She’s never followed the norm.

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It’s my most favorite thing about her. It’s why I don’t mind if she stays a baby for a little bit longer. I don’t mind if she keeps her paci for a bit longer if it means she’ll cuddle in my lap and fall asleep on me. I don’t mind if she keeps her diapers just a bit longer if it means she’ll tell me she’s Mama’s baby. She is my baby. My last baby and if it means I let her do “baby” things a little longer than most, I’m ok with that. I never understood rushing babies to grow up. Why do we HAVE to take their bottles at 1? Livie had hers til she was 2 1/2. Why do we HAVE to take their pacis? She still has hers. Why is potty training SO important by the time they’re 2 or 3? She’ll be 3 in 10 days and we are in no rush. These things affect no one but us and we’re ok with having her be a baby for bit longer. For the life of me I will never understand why people feel it’s their business how we raise our kids. But it kind of makes me laugh how much she talks and people tell me she seems so much older than almost 3 and yet she snuggles up in my lap with her blankie and paci. I like having the best of both worlds. Especially now with this never ending sickness.

Instagram awesomeness:

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Here I sit again, closing yet another blog post, hoping for a quiet weekend and week ahead. I’ve got a birthday party to plan for a almost 3 year old.

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Dear sickness, please be gone and stay gone!

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Smile

I can hardly believe it’s Friday finally after the week started for us. Livie perked up the second we got home and has been on an upward spiral since then. It’s made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Seeing your kids sick is awful enough but seeing them hooked up to IVs and their scared eyes begging you to take them away from it all is the worst. Seeing her happy and playing is what makes me happiest today.

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She smiled once when we were at the hospital and at that moment I thought to myself that I kind of take for granted how often my girls smile and how much I miss it when I don’t see it.

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It’s my daily fuel. I need to see them smile. I hate to see them sad. Her smile with sunlight behind it…very appropriate for how much happiness is radiating from her right now.

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I showed her the Xray and showed her the coin and I asked her if she remembered eating a coin at Nana’s house. Her reply? “I puked.”

Clearly she remembers it all and connected the dots. I’m hopeful that she won’t ever do it again.

A mini Instagram holla:

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I’m @becks_b on IG if you want to follow me!

Last Friday I said that I knew the weekend was going to be great. Turns out it sucked majorly. Today I will say it again because this time I KNOW it will be.

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A truly happy Friday. Sending some of ours to you.

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A penny for your thoughts

4 months before I started this blog it was September 2005. We had to rush Hannah to the ER because her fever was crazy high and she had no other symptoms. We ended up spending 3 days and 2 very long nights in the hospital ruling out so many things before her sickness was diagnosed as some crazy virus and we were allowed to go home. After holding her down for blood work and an IV and any time a doctor came in the room I left that place saying that I never EVER wanted to go through something like that again. I never wanted to watch my baby suffer and hear her scream and see her so utterly scared and helpless. I deemed those days the worst days of my life.

When Livie’s cough didn’t improve over the weekend as it should have I started to worry. Her doctor told us that if her cough wasn’t gone by the weekend she would want to do a chest Xray on her to be sure it wasn’t pneumonia. Saturday evening Livie had come to us crying and pointing to her mouth so we checked to make sure she wasn’t bleeding and soon after she started violently throwing up massive amounts of mucous. I knew right then that we’d be going for an Xray on Monday and I was almost positive she had pneumonia and we’d be admitted at the hospital. I spent the rest of the weekend sick to my stomach because I just knew what was coming and I didn’t want any of us to relive that experience nor did I want my baby girl to suffer. She continued to get worse over the weekend…barely eating, barely drinking, coughing up a lot of mucous. Monday morning I made her a doctor’s appointment and off we went.

When we got there her doctor listened to her cough and decided she’d have her do an Xray to make sure she didn’t have pneumonia but by listening to her she was pretty sure it wasn’t. I was so relieved. I thought ok, we’ll do this Xray, get different antibiotics to help clear up her lungs better, and we’ll go home to rest this sickness off. The Xray lab is just across the hall and after having to hold my screaming baby down for this Xray I stood there thinking man, I pray this isn’t pneumonia because she’s already so upset with just this and this is so NOT invasive. I was confident though that it wasn’t and we walked back to our doctor’s office to wait for the results.

I’ve never seen a doctor come back so quickly with results. She said her Xray tech told her to look at the results ASAP and that when she asked her if it’s pneumonia she said no. Immediately I began to panic thinking what else could be wrong that was so urgent?? She pulled up the Xray and this is what we both saw.

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There was a coin lodged in her throat. She said she would guess it’s a quarter and I said that thing looked massive and I would be shocked if it was JUST a quarter. I began to panic and she attempted to calm me down but stressed to me that we had to hurry to Texas Children’s ER. She would tell them we are coming. She told me most likely my baby would need surgery but that it’d be fairly easy because they can probably just get it out with a scope. All I focused on was surgery and the thought of Livie being put under was just not sitting well with me. I’ve only been put under once but I remember how awful it was waking up and how nauseous and sick I was…besides the thought of another baby going through the trauma of being in the hospital and the IV and OMG. I wanted to vomit all over. I called The Man and his mom and told them what was up and we all rushed to the ER.

When we got there Livie was asleep and I wanted to cry. I dreaded waking her up to the madness that was going to happen. I was so sick to my stomach thinking about how awful this was going to be for us. I kept telling myself that the actual procedure would be easy and once the coin was out she’d be able to go home. I knew the risks were low and at least this time we knew what was wrong and it wasn’t something so severe as pneumonia or days of not knowing what was wrong like with Hannah. None of those things comforted me though. Everyone all over Facebook , Twitter, and Instagram were sending such awesome messages to me and it was so nice to know people everywhere were praying for my baby.

Well as I knew, Livie was horrified of every and anything that happened to her. The IV was awful. Anytime anyone came in to check her it was awful. The 2 Xrays she got between the overnight stay was awful. The OR was so booked up that it took 24 hours to get her into surgery (all they had to do was use the scope and pull it out from her mouth)  from when we got there. I didn’t bring my camera but I tried to take pictures when I could to just document it all for her when she got bigger. I knew we’d tell her all about this just like we tell Hannah about her time in the hospital. With each picture I took I’d just stare at it after and want to cry thinking that yes this is tied for the worst days in our lives…but every time I saw a child wheel by with no hair I’d look at Livie and my heart would break. I just wanted my baby home but I knew once we got out of there she was going to be ok. I know not every parent can say that. I was so torn with relief emotions and being sick over what was happening to MY baby. I made an Instagram collage of our time there. This about sums it up.

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The bottom left picture? That’s us walking Livie out and her holding the coin in a cup. Turns out it wasn’t a quarter but a PENNY. I couldn’t believe it. As we waited in recovery for her to wake up we held the jar with that penny and kept saying how we couldn’t believe how giant it looked on the Xray and how skinny is her throat that it could get lodged in there like that?

Once she woke up and got passed her grogginess and drank a little water they let us go home. I was so relieved. I thought she would sleep all night and most of today and just kind of be chill. But I know that this child has never been a chill kid and the past week of her being sick was a major exception so it shouldn’t have shocked me when she was up and playing when she got home and asked to take a shower. She also ate a whole meal and drank her weight in milk and juice. I was so relieved that she wasn’t like me and wasn’t so sick after all the anesthesia.

And today? She’s back to her normal self. Turns out a lot of her excessive coughing all weekend was due to that coin being lodged in her throat and her body trying to expel it. The penny was also to blame for her not wanting to eat or drink like normal. The penny was the cause of her coming to us crying Saturday and when we thought she had bumped her mouth… well it turns out that’s probably when she swallowed it and she probably choked a little and came running to us. I don’t think she quite knew how to tell us she did that and then the vomiting started and it was all downhill from there. All the things that happened after she swallowed that penny til it came out were all because of that damn penny. Who knew a little penny could cause so many problems?!

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She’s back to being happy. She’s back to eating all day long. She’s back to watching Mickey mouse all day and playing with her toys. She’s back to herself and for this I am so grateful. While it could have been  a lot worse, it was definitely NOT easy. Any time I think about wishing we could have more kids I think about my kids being sick and how I can’t handle it with a third. It completely kills me. And now to think we are 2 for 2 with kids being admitted in the hospital and 1 of them needed surgery? No thanks. I have my hands full as it is.

Instagram holla from before and after this whole ordeal:

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Livie is telling me she wants me to sit with her on the couch which means she’s ready for a nap I’m sure. So am I.

We are so happy we’re home.

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Sickness

This week our house has been dominated by sickness. What started as a slight, harmless cough for Liv on Saturday became a full blown rattling, barking cough by Tuesday. What’s crazy about Liv though is that unless she’s got a bad enough fever which has only happened like twice in her life, she will continue to eat and drink and play and run around and I never know just HOW sick she is.

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That happened this week. She has never been to the doctor for being sick. She’s had like 4 colds ever and they usually go away within a week. The times she’s had a fever have been even less. When Tuesday came and there were less smiles and more whining with less eating and a fever I started to get worried. My girls and I usually start a cold with a fever and it’s gone in a day and then it gets worse but we feel mostly ok. The fact that she had been coughing for days and then a fever came? Well that worried me. Plus the coughing became coughing fits where she couldn’t breathe and her whole body convulsed trying to get the mucous out. It wasn’t pretty. Yesterday morning first thing I called her doctor to get her in. I took these right before we left.

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You can see why I still kind of hesitated on the whole doctor’s office situation if she didn’t really HAVE to go.

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But my mother intuition took over and I decided it’s better safe than sorry.

I’m so glad I decided that. She was all smiles at the office. Talked the nurse and doctor’s ear off. When the doctor told me she had a full blown ear infection in one ear, fluid in her other which was heading that way too, and bronchitis I was shocked. She sat there smiling and talking away with all of that wrong with her??? This is why I never know what to do with her when it comes to being sick…the few times she is. At that moment I thought OMG, what if something is super wrong one day and I’ll never know cause this kid is bouncing off the walls???? I have to rely on my mother’s intuition I guess for those kinds of things. So we were sent home with a prescription for antibiotics and an inhaler to help open up her lungs and get that congestion out.

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Getting her to use this thing has been less than fun. It’s taken a lot of soft talking and talking in 2 year old words so she understands…and a lot of tears from her. She hates it but thankfully it’ll only be for a couple days. The rest of the day was spent with bouts of ” I tired” to “I gonna play!”

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But today? Today she seems to be doing a lot better. I’m really hoping she continues to clear out those lungs because if not, xrays are next to check for pneumonia which will be a guaranteed awful day for us all. Pray for my baby girl, please. Thank you.

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For now she’s happy and having a good day and I’m grateful for that.

Instagram holla:

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I’m @becks_b on there. Follow me!

Hoping today stays on the upswing and this weekend will be a good, sickness free one.

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I’m thinking it will be.

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“Stupid ducks!”

Before I even get into what the title of this post is about I have to say one quick thing.

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She actually came home in a good mood from school yesterday which is a rare thing these days. School is a constant fight with this kid and I’m already counting down til summer break. I hate to want to rush her childhood but I also find myself counting down til she graduates high school and the school fight will be over…..until I realized that the hormones have begun to rage and my child is slowly enterting Tweendom. She ran upstairs as soon as she came home to get her purse before we went to Nana’s for our daily coffee date while the cousins play.

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Her play purses used to have toys and junk in them. Her real Coach purse now has her iPhone, make up, and perfume in it. When I think of this, it kind of balances my whole hurry up with school mentality. By balance I mean knocks it straight to the ground.

So today it’s just me, Liv, and Mr. Mans. I decided that since it’s a gorgeous, clear, 70 degree day we needed to be outside doing something…anything. I remembered that we haven’t been to the little lake by our house in ages and that there are ducks there. Livie has a strange obsession with ducks lately..well with all animals really…so off the 3 of us went to feed the ducks.

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I gave Livie the last of our hotdog buns and as I carried the baby in one arm I followed behind her with my camera in the other. We hollered for the ducks. We tempted them with a few little bread scraps. I threw those stupid pieces of bread as far as I could without throwing me and the baby in the lake with it. Did the ducks even look at us once? Nope. Our duck feeding was a major fail.

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Little bastards.

At this point I told Livie “Come on. Let’s just go back home and watch Toy Story. They don’t want the food.” She looks at them, throws the rest of the pieces of bread in the water and says “Stupid ducks!”

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And the baby? Well all he cared about was the toy on the blanket next to him that he couldn’t quite reach.

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We packed up our stuff and on the way back to the car Livie tells me “Mama, I loved feeding the ducks!!!”

Coulda fooled me, kiddo.

Lesson of the day: Ducks don’t give a crap about bread.

Midweek Instagram holla:

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At least it’s a pretty day.

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The Madness Began

The madness began this weekend…

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It’s a happy madness though. I couldn’t wait to put my Christmas decorations out. They’re out now and I sat in my living room last night with just the light of the tree illuminating the downstairs and I swear I smiled out loud…if there is even such a thing. My smile had sound. A sonic boom kinda smile.

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Guess who’s coming to town.

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It’s like Liv’s first Christmas all over again. She’s so fascinated by the tree and the lights. I’ve heard “MAMA! It’s so beautiful!” from her many times and also many complaints if I turn off the tree to give the lights a break for a bit. This kid, she’s gonna be like me…at least I hope she is. Hannah’s already lost interest with decorating and sat in her room while the tree went up. But not Livie. She was right there behind me wanting to help. I spaced my kids apart just perfectly. One is enterting the “I’m too cool for anything” phase while the other is just getting old enough to help and be excited about things. Being a parent means reliving your childhood and giving your kids better and more than you had…at least for me it means that. Mission accomplished 100 times over. When I see her face as she looks at that tree…puddle of mush on the floor. That’s me.

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Still found time for relaxing coffee breaks and welcomed nights with friends that I’ve missed for way too long.

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Looking forward to a hectic but good week as we get ready to head out of town. Hope yours is good too.

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Caught Fall

Here in Texas when fall comes it’s more like what late spring or late summer feels like up north. When the temps dip under 75 degrees we all freak out because it’s “chilly” and we love it.

A cold front blew in yesterday. Monday it was 90 degrees. Today? 70. My first thought? We gotta pick out pumpkins! Hannah decided she’s too old for that and so Liv and I went on our own to the makeshift aka fake pumpkin patch at the nearby church. I won’t even get into how I miss Ohio falls and real pumpkin patches everywhere and HELLO, the metroparks. Google it if you don’t live in Ohio. All I need is some Ohio fall leaves sent to me and I’d be golden.

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As soon as we walked in she said “OOOH, I LOVE pumpkins!” and I think back to last year when she didn’t even know or really care what they were. She’s changed so much in a year.

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She was so happy when she found one she could actually lift.

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She’s got her pumpkin and she’s a happy girl.

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Other happenings:

More backyard time

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Happy car rides

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And happy evenings just me and her while Dad works and Sister stays the night with Nana.

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Can’t believe it’s already Wednesday. Happy midweek!

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