I love love
I went to a wedding this weekend and I said twice in that night that I love love. I do. I love all kinds of love. I love the way I love my kids. I love the way my kids love me. I love that I still love my husband after almost 14 years together. I love that his family loves me.
And since I love love so much I love weddings. I love seeing two people come together because they love each other and I love the newness and freshness of two lives starting together, especially since it’s been 10 years of marriage for us and I know what they have in store. I love the way family and friends gather for weddings and how everyone is so happy. Love is a beautiful thing and I am in love with love. I truly am. I cry at almost every wedding I go to. I cry at the videos they show at receptions of the bride and groom or of the bride with her dad as was the case this weekend as she danced with her father. It doesn’t matter how close I am to the couple getting married…I cry. It’s such an amazing thing to love someone so much that you’re willing to share your life with them forever. I know not all marriages are forever but even so, on that night when vows are said, in their minds it IS forever and I love that.
I love going to weddings with The Man’s family who is very much so MY family and we have a fantastic night of dancing and laughing together. I never take for granted the relationships I have with his family. I never take for granted the way they love me and love our children and the bonds that have been formed because of this love.
The Man has amazing parents and even though they’re divorced and remarried the step parents are just as amazing and just as much family as I am. His mom and step dad took our babies on a trip this week. Usually it’s Hannah and her cousin that go but this time Livie was finally old enough to get to go too. Hearing her go on and on all weekend about going to the lake with them even though she had no idea what exactly that was was priceless. She knew Hannah was excited and so she was excited too. But when they got there? The pictures and videos have been coming in steadily throughout the 3 days they’ve been gone and each one the kids look so happy. This is Livie’s first trip without me and while I hated that I wasn’t going to be there to photograph the whole entire thing, I looked forward to having some days to myself. Since Monday afternoon our house has been very quiet. I got to read without interruptions. I got to go to the rodeo without kids. We went to dinner without the kids. We went to a movie. We did things we normally would do anyway but without having to find a sitter…well it made it THAT much more fun. I’m home 24/7 with kids and y’all know I adore the life I have now. But we all know moms needs breaks too so I got a mini spring break this week as well. The girls come home today, though, and I’m ready. I’ll be picking them up in a couple of hours and I’ve got my camera ready because I’ve missed their faces. I’ve missed Livie’s cute expressions and baby talk. I’ve missed Hannah’s silly stories and watching her play with her sister. Moms do need breaks, yes, but we love it more when they come back home.
I love loving them and I’m ready to do that today with them with me and not an hour away.
Instagram block from this week so far:
I’m @TheBecksB if you want to follow my addiction.
I noticed the blue bonnets were out already for the spring. I know what we’ll be doing this week. Stay tuned.
Our weekend
Usually on Monday mornings I get on my blog and post pictures and tell you about how our weekend was with visual aids. This Monday will be slightly different as I don’t have any pictures. HAH. We did have a fantastic weekend. The wedding we went to was awesome and anytime I go to a wedding I can’t help but hold Hubs’ hand a little tighter because I’m remembering when we got married. November will be 9 years of marriage for us. Considering how young we are, I find that to be quite an accomplishment. We’ve made this marriage work when the odds were against us. We’ve made it through times I didn’t think we would or even could. We’ve made it through a few storms, one hurricane, and a couple tornados. When I watch other people get married, especially when they’re family or close friends, I think about what they have in store for them…and I smile. I smile because yes, the bad times suck and they’re hard and sometimes they linger. But the good times are SO, so good. Attending our friends’ wedding this weekend was so, so good. I took a lot of pictures but since I can’t really post them here, just know that I rocked my dress out and Hubs looked so very handsome. And hey, if you’re one of my Facebook friends you can see some of the pictures I posted. Bonus for you!
So Sunday morning we checked out of our hotel and headed back home to our regular, not as posh or fancy as the hotel we were just at, life. We picked up our girls’ from the awesome family who took care of them since Hubs’ mom is outta town. We got home and unpacked and settled in for the day. We were SUPPOSED to get family pictures done of the four of us but those got rained out so we cuddled on the couch and giggled at Livie constantly telling us “NO!” to anything we ask her. We put the girls to bed and watched our favorite TV shows like usual on Sunday nights. I realized that I liked weekends like this. Mixed it up a little and had a fun night out and then came home to our regular, REAL life with kids and dogs and rain.
I’m already thinking about next weekend. Saturday is my birthday. Saturday is also the 3 year anniversary of my dad’s death. Every year I blog about it and this year probably won’t be any different. Him dying on my birthday kind of makes me dread my birthday. I don’t like having to revisit all of that and yet I’m forced to because how could I not? I’m determined though to make it as nice as I can. I want to have fun still. I hope it doesn’t rain so we can get our pictures done this Sunday. I want to take a lot of pictures of me with Hubs and my girls. I want to fill it with the things that make me happy…that make me smile.
That make me come home after an awesome night out with Hubs and say “I’m glad we’re home.”
Marriage talk
Last night Hubs and I forgot that Livie sleeps like crap and I have to get up at 5:30 and we stayed up til 12:15 talking. It’s been AGES since we’ve done that. When you have a baby who sleeps in between you and her sleeping habits suck it’s hard to really want to stay up and talk. Sleep wins every time. For some reason Livie was knocked out last night in some kind of comatose state so we were able to lay in bed and talk to eachother while she slept right next to us. It was bliss in it’s purest form for us. We’ve appreciated Livie’s baby-ness in a different way because we saw how fast Hannah went from Livie’s stage to what she is now. So as we laid there we talked. We got deep. We talked about how my friends will tell me that we’re the perfect couple and our marriage is awesome and if we ever divorced they’d lose faith in marriage. It’s flattering to hear that my friends think that BUT they just have no idea. I’ve said this here before but I don’t put our dirty laundry out there…just let it be known that Hubs and I have our share of issues. BUT it’s still nice to know that people at least respect us as a strong married couple.
Because we are. And that is true.
So our conversation moved to our 11 1/2 years together…how we’ve grown up together…how we became adults together and found our place in life together….how we’ve built this family out of our love for eachother….how we work through A LOT to keep things smooth because while Hannah doesn’t see it now, she’s pretty damn lucky that she has two parents that are still married and in love. Lots of people stay married out of obligation or convenience. We stay married because we are still in love with eachother. Being in love and loving someone are 2 different things. I love Hubs. And I’m IN love with Hubs. He’s IN love with me. I don’t take this for granted. We have our share of differences but at the end of the day, there is no one else we’d rather be with.
Discussing this at 12:07 at night isn’t exactly the norm but I think that every now and then you just have to remind eachother that the other one is still right there next to you and walking beside you.
What I needed?
just when i thought i was going to leave the blogging world for good…again…although i’ve said it a few times before…and i still don’t know what i’m going to do to be honest. but i have to share this with yall.
last night Nimmie got up at 4 am and didn’t go back to sleep after that. and i laid there so frustrated and like complaining in my mind “why won’t you go back to sleep?! what is wrong with you?!” and i was so tired and i JUST WANTED TO SLEEP.
and then i found THIS BLOG. i learned about them the day that their sweet baby girl went to be with God. but i hadn’t read the blog before or after that. so today i decided to go back and read the past couple month’s worth of entries. and now i’m sitting here at work choking back tears. this woman would give anything to be up at 4 am with her baby. anything. her blog is a tribute to her baby. my blog has been a tribute to Nettie, Hubs, our lives together and just recently Nimmie. dare i stop this? dare i end it? what if something happens to my girls and this blog is all i have to go back and read about them?
that scares the crap out of me…the whole ending this and wishing i hadn’t.
i just don’t know.
what i do know? the second i pick up Nimmie today i’m going to hug her extra tight…and kiss Nettie a few extra times. we just don’t get how fragile life is.
PS I love you
um, yeah. the Notebook of 2008. talk about a freakin good movie. i loved it. i’ve never laughed so much at a movie i cried so much at. hilary swank is awesome. the whole cast is awesome. it was so good. and when the movie was over i was all “i wish Hubs would send me letters like this guy did to her…and he was freakin dead for 1/2 the movie”. and then it hit me…Hubs used to send me letters like that all the time. maybe not so much anymore because we’re together all the time (cept right now cuz he’s outta town and omg i miss him so much) but back when we just started dating and i was in school all day and he worked all day and we saw eachother only a few days a week—the man used to write me letters all the time and give them to me when we saw eachother but i wasn’t allowed to read them til i got home. these letters would make me laugh…and cry…and smile…they were so awesomely amazing and romantic. and i remembered one time after we moved into the house we’re in now…and i found his box of letters that i wrote him…and in that i found a letter he wrote me. but it was all crumbled up in a ball so i’m thinking wtf? and then i realized that it was a letter he wrote me and then REWROTE it because he had spelling errors or too many scratched out words. he wanted the letter to be perfect when i got it. isn’t that so effin sweet?!?!?! when i found that i almost cried…and after that movie yesterday which made me miss him 100 times more than i already was—-i was glad to remember those letters he used to give me. and how much effort he put into them back then. he gets home tomorrow. omg i cant wait!
In 2 days
jennster and boyfriend will be mr. and mrs. boyfriend. i can’t say it enough how thrilled i am that i get to be a part of it. to witness a couple like them getting married…a couple you know is perfect for eachother…..its truly an honor that me and Hubs were invited.
DONT FORGET!!! even if i dont make any blog posts MY FLICKR will have photos added in every couple days!
jenn and boyfriend, see you tomorrow. OMG I SEE YOU TOMORROW!!!!!!!! xo
congratulations to one of the funnest couples we know.
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