The never ender
You know, I thought once we brought Livie home from the hospital last week things were going to be all uphill from there. Sure, we always have the normal worries or hassles like bills, homework, weather, etc… But sickness, especially when it’s your kids, is hard.
VERY hard.
So on Tuesday night when Livie spiked a fever of 101.6 I knew something was still wrong. She’s still coughing but it’s not nearly as bad as it was. Any time I ask her if anything hurts she just moans and doesn’t tell me what the problem is. I think since this whole being sick/things hurting stuff is new to her she doesn’t know how to convey that to us.
So back to the doctor AGAIN for us yesterday. I swear I paid someone’s salary with the amount of money I’ve spent on copays in the past month. The diagnosis THIS time? Ear infections. Turns out the infected left ear from before never got better and now the right one is infected too. Call me crazy but I was relieved to hear that. I knew that was easy to find and fix and wouldn’t requre extensive tests or poking or prodding and most of all, would not require the hospital. When I told Liv that we were going to the doctor again she told me ” I don’t want to go to the hospital.”
Kid won’t tell me what’s hurting but can tell me that whole sentence clear as day.
Doesn’t surprise me. She’s never followed the norm.
It’s my most favorite thing about her. It’s why I don’t mind if she stays a baby for a little bit longer. I don’t mind if she keeps her paci for a bit longer if it means she’ll cuddle in my lap and fall asleep on me. I don’t mind if she keeps her diapers just a bit longer if it means she’ll tell me she’s Mama’s baby. She is my baby. My last baby and if it means I let her do “baby” things a little longer than most, I’m ok with that. I never understood rushing babies to grow up. Why do we HAVE to take their bottles at 1? Livie had hers til she was 2 1/2. Why do we HAVE to take their pacis? She still has hers. Why is potty training SO important by the time they’re 2 or 3? She’ll be 3 in 10 days and we are in no rush. These things affect no one but us and we’re ok with having her be a baby for bit longer. For the life of me I will never understand why people feel it’s their business how we raise our kids. But it kind of makes me laugh how much she talks and people tell me she seems so much older than almost 3 and yet she snuggles up in my lap with her blankie and paci. I like having the best of both worlds. Especially now with this never ending sickness.
Instagram awesomeness:
Here I sit again, closing yet another blog post, hoping for a quiet weekend and week ahead. I’ve got a birthday party to plan for a almost 3 year old.
Dear sickness, please be gone and stay gone!
The good in trying times
Today is a focus on the good day for me because about 30 minutes ago The Man and I got into yet another argument with Hannah that ended in us sending her to her room and me saying that about 80% of what comes out of her mouth makes me angry. She’s in a horrible pre-pubescent stage right now and it’s all I can do to not pull my hair out…or hers. So to focus on the good of her this weekend I have to think about how cute she is when she’s happy and playing with her friends.
I’m grateful that we have a little girl next door for her to play with. When she’s not grounded from playing, that is. 2011 was a trying year with her and I see that 2012 will be too. Actually, probably until about 2018 or so we’re doomed to fight with a teenage girl. I’m sure Livie will be following close behind. I always wished we’d be close unlike my mom and I were but I’m starting to see that we’ll bicker with her through her teen years like most moms have to with their teenage daughters. I dread it because I miss our days…the days Livie and I still get to have. Makes me cherish these days with Liv a LOT because if she gets a major attitude like Hannah…well I’ll be mourning these days much like I am with Hannah. I rarely talk about how hard it’s been with her but it has been and well…there ya go.
But this kid? She loves her days with me and tells me now about 5 times a day that she loves me. Melts my heart and gives me hope that soon Hannah will come around and be the sweet kid she used to be.
She’s most happy when she’s eating. Go figure. With every bite she takes I kid you not, she dances a little dance and sometimes claps. It’s the cutest thing and I’ll miss it when she grows out of it. She expresses what we all feel when we eat…HAPPINESS!
When your friends come over and play with your kids while you cook…swoon.
Steak on a kabob on the grill…double swoon.
Instagram holla!!!
This week I’m determined to find the good in Hannah even when she’s mouthing off to me and I will cherish the good with Livie before it maybe disappears. Hoping and praying it doesn’t though. Raising kids is hard, y’all. I STILL sometimes feel like I’m not grown up enough to do this mom thing. Other times though, there’s this…
I’m doing something right along the way. Have a good week!
“Stupid ducks!”
Before I even get into what the title of this post is about I have to say one quick thing.
She actually came home in a good mood from school yesterday which is a rare thing these days. School is a constant fight with this kid and I’m already counting down til summer break. I hate to want to rush her childhood but I also find myself counting down til she graduates high school and the school fight will be over…..until I realized that the hormones have begun to rage and my child is slowly enterting Tweendom. She ran upstairs as soon as she came home to get her purse before we went to Nana’s for our daily coffee date while the cousins play.
Her play purses used to have toys and junk in them. Her real Coach purse now has her iPhone, make up, and perfume in it. When I think of this, it kind of balances my whole hurry up with school mentality. By balance I mean knocks it straight to the ground.
So today it’s just me, Liv, and Mr. Mans. I decided that since it’s a gorgeous, clear, 70 degree day we needed to be outside doing something…anything. I remembered that we haven’t been to the little lake by our house in ages and that there are ducks there. Livie has a strange obsession with ducks lately..well with all animals really…so off the 3 of us went to feed the ducks.
I gave Livie the last of our hotdog buns and as I carried the baby in one arm I followed behind her with my camera in the other. We hollered for the ducks. We tempted them with a few little bread scraps. I threw those stupid pieces of bread as far as I could without throwing me and the baby in the lake with it. Did the ducks even look at us once? Nope. Our duck feeding was a major fail.
Little bastards.
At this point I told Livie “Come on. Let’s just go back home and watch Toy Story. They don’t want the food.” She looks at them, throws the rest of the pieces of bread in the water and says “Stupid ducks!”
And the baby? Well all he cared about was the toy on the blanket next to him that he couldn’t quite reach.
We packed up our stuff and on the way back to the car Livie tells me “Mama, I loved feeding the ducks!!!”
Coulda fooled me, kiddo.
Lesson of the day: Ducks don’t give a crap about bread.
Midweek Instagram holla:
At least it’s a pretty day.
Rainy day post
I had plans of Starbucks this morning with the girls in the family and a couple friends and a late morning grocery store trip and then maybe a quick nap with Livie.
It’s pouring rain outside so we DID make Starbucks but the store will have to wait. I figured it’d be a good time to catch up on some editing and get a blog post up for y’all. Yes, all 5 of you.
After my last post I decided to make a concious effort to pick up my camera more this weekend…to take more pictures like I used to. Whether I’m home with my girls or not all day, I still find myself scrolling through pictures on my phone of them. I love pictures and I wouldn’t have had to move 1000 pictures from my phone to Flickr if I didn’t. It’s time to get back to that me, even if I have to think about it more now than I had to before.
When I get shots like this I get happy because it’s not every day that your baby just stands there perfectly in the sunlight at just the right angle.
It’s my usually boring, mundane life that I love the most. It’s the life I craved…days like this where it’s rainy and I don’t have to leave the house but instead can edit photos and laugh at my silly girl.
Guess who’s crawling now?
Nannying this tiny man has been such a fun reminder of when my girls were this little…with Livie it seems like it was just yesterday.
It’s been unseasonably warm here the past few weeks. It’ll get chilly for a couple days and the temps go right back into the mid to upper 70s. That’s warm for January but I’m not complaining. I hate the cold and snow. I’ll take sun and shorts any day over that. So will my girls.
Especially when they can play outside all day and take ice cream breaks without needing a jacket.
And now something I kind of bit off of Kelle Hampton’s blog. I love sharing my Instagram photos. Y’all know this. I’ve been posting them on my blog for a year now. I’m kind of a freak though for uniformity and it bugged the crap out of me that the IG pictures were square and grainy looking while my camera pictures were rectangle and clear. Kelle starting putting her IG pictures in a collage and after months of seeing her do this every week I decided that I needed to do that too. She only does it once a week but I’m an Instagram fanatic so I’ll be doing it every post.
You’re welcome. And Kelle, thanks for the idea. You know you inspire me, woman. Also, a sidenote to the pic of me with the jersey on, the Texans had their first ever play off game and they WON it!!!! Enthusiastic, happy Texan fan = me. YAY!
Something else awesome about Instagram- you can now make phone cases for your iPhone with the pictures you take on there. I have this one coming to me and I can’t wait til it gets here! Casetagram.com. Check it.
Just heard another rumble of thunder in the distance. Livie just had me put on Toy Story 3 for the 100th time…and I’m gonna watch it with her under a blanket.
Happy Monday.
Happy
Hi, I’m Becky and I’ve neglected my blog.
A sad admission but the truth, nonetheless.
It was a busy holiday season for us as it is with most of you. Usually during the holidays I take a ton of pictures and I have a hard time sorting through them to pick ones to blog.
That was not the case this year.
I realized why.
Taking pictures was always a cathartic thing to me. A good way to end a long, bad day at work. A way for me to see pictures of my babies all day when I was away from them. A way to sort of make up for crappy days or guilt or whatever bothered me. Now that I’m not working and I’m home with my girls all the time…well, I’m happy.
Like ridiculously happy.
I stress about money A LOT. But who doesn’t? I did before I quit too. At least now I’m stressing while I’m home and not at a desk I hate.
I thought I’d be more like Kelle Hampton and take ridiculous amounts of photos and instead I find myself reaching for my camera less. Maybe this will change. Maybe it won’t. I’ve come to realize that this is ok. I adore Kelle and her blog so much and while some of you think that it’s TOO happy or not real… well, that sucks for you. I like being happy. I like reading happy things. There is enough bad in the world…why focus on it? I refuse to blog about bad things in my life day in and day out. The happiness I display here? It’s real. It’s me. It’s not made up or exaggerated. Yes, I have bad days. Who doesn’t? I have close family and friends or The Man that I vent to. I don’t feel like I need to vent here all the time. Yes, Hannah and I still have tension between us some days. Yes, Livie is still a sometimes hyper kid who I sit and watch and wonder if she’ll ever just relax. Yes, there are still days when I think I might want to run away, even if it’s just for a few hours. That’s all normal and ok. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy even when all those things occur.
I am very blessed in life and I thank God for all I have. I have everything I’ve ever wanted in life and that is the truth. Times have been hard along the way. We’ve struggled and I’ve cried and squeezed my fists in anger. But now? That all seems so far away.
I’m grateful.
I only hope that the people that read this blog and people I care for can be happy.
It’s real. It’s me.
*******************************************************************************
And because it wouldn’t be a post from me without SOME pictures, here are a few recents. We’re finally back into a routine and while I will never embrace the sound of an alarm clock, I do embrace routine and habit.
Playing outside in 75 degree weather in January when plenty of people are bundling up makes me grateful and happy.
My sister finally giving birth to my first niece last week made me grateful and happy.
Getting back to daily coffee with my mother in law makes me happy.
Seeing Hannah happy to get my old iPhone 4 after I upgraded to a 4s makes me happy.
Watching this little man grow up also makes me happy…and quenches my thirst for a new baby. I will always miss being pregnant and smelling the head and kissing the cheeks of my own newborn baby. I don’t think I’ll ever NOT miss that. It’s not in the cards for us to have another baby right now…or ever really but I have to admit that I will forever miss having my own babies in my arms. But this one? He helps that a lot. Grateful and happy for him.
Happy.
Home sweet home
We got back after being gone in Ohio for 10 days on Monday afternoon. 5 days in Ohio. 5 days in the car. 22 hours each way. Thousands of miles in between and yet, Ohio and Texas…they are both home.
Our life together began here. We had our babies here. This is home. But when we go to Ohio and see our family, it’s home too. Family that we adore but family that we don’t see but once or twice a year. The time we spend there is precious.
Grandmas and Great Grandmas
Sisters
Cousins
Our family is a melting pot of races and cultures and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My friends are home to me too. They live so very far and yet are so very close because they also live in my phone…we text and email daily. I love them.
It was a good, good visit.
On the way home we decided to stop in Nashville for the night to see the famous Christmas light display at the Opryland Resort. Um, yeah. You know me with Christmas. This was the most magical Christmas light display I’ve ever seen. I kind of wanted to live there.
But, then it was time to go home. Our Texas home. The home I love the most. Coming back to this
and this
and this.
Ya just can’t beat it.
It’s December which means Christmas is 25 days away. Let the giddy-ness continue.
The Madness Began
The madness began this weekend…
It’s a happy madness though. I couldn’t wait to put my Christmas decorations out. They’re out now and I sat in my living room last night with just the light of the tree illuminating the downstairs and I swear I smiled out loud…if there is even such a thing. My smile had sound. A sonic boom kinda smile.
Guess who’s coming to town.
It’s like Liv’s first Christmas all over again. She’s so fascinated by the tree and the lights. I’ve heard “MAMA! It’s so beautiful!” from her many times and also many complaints if I turn off the tree to give the lights a break for a bit. This kid, she’s gonna be like me…at least I hope she is. Hannah’s already lost interest with decorating and sat in her room while the tree went up. But not Livie. She was right there behind me wanting to help. I spaced my kids apart just perfectly. One is enterting the “I’m too cool for anything” phase while the other is just getting old enough to help and be excited about things. Being a parent means reliving your childhood and giving your kids better and more than you had…at least for me it means that. Mission accomplished 100 times over. When I see her face as she looks at that tree…puddle of mush on the floor. That’s me.
Still found time for relaxing coffee breaks and welcomed nights with friends that I’ve missed for way too long.
Looking forward to a hectic but good week as we get ready to head out of town. Hope yours is good too.
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