When you get what you want
This past Friday I blogged about quitting my job to be a stay at home mom. It’s also no secret around this blog that lately I’ve been miserable at work because of my blood pressure issues and the fact that I just wanted to be home with my girls. I was so happy to put in my 2 weeks on Friday. I even said that I hoped they’d tell me to just go home because 2 more weeks of waiting just seemed like an eternity. Well I wasn’t told anything on Friday so I figured I’d just complete my 2 weeks and then I’d be done working.
Well that happened today. But not in the way that I planned. You see, someone who reads this blog decided that the administration staff in my office needed to not only know I had a blog but to alert them about what I said on Friday. I know who you are, by the way. Granted, I’ve rarely said anything about my job on this blog for these exact reasons. And it goes to show you that there are people just waiting to stab you in the back as I say ONE thing on here and it immediately went to the big guys at work. I was called up to the office today and asked if what I said on here was true… Did I just want to be done with work? I said yes because yes, that’s the truth. So I changed my resignation letter to reflect today as my last day, I was told thank you and good luck, and then sent on my merry way. Yes, I’m glad I’m done. Am I happy with WHY or HOW I left? Not exactly. I would have been fine with them telling me it was because of the lay offs that I was just leaving now. But because of this blog? Because someone decided it was their business to put MY business out there to the higher ups at my office? I know this blog is public. I know that whatever I say here will be repeated somehow. However, I was not expecting someone to be so juvenile as this. Then again, that’s the kind of women that I worked with and so there ya go. I don’t blame my office for sending me packing early. They ARE laying off people and why keep me when I openly expressed here that I was ready to be done. I get that. However, the person that turned that post in? How ’bout a nice screw you and karma is a dirty bitch.
So, I left today with my head held high because I didn’t do anything wrong. They were nice to me when telling me I could go and appreciative for my 9 1/2 year service to their office. I will miss most of my coworkers. I will miss the silly guys who walked around joking and making us girls laugh. I will miss seeing justice being served daily and knowing that bad people were going to prison for a long time. What I won’t miss? Leaving these girls every single day.
And now? Now I don’t have to.
And that was my day today. How was yours? LOL
Silver linings
I’m currently in silver lining mode as I sit here semi buried in work. I’m taking a breather to blog and just, well, breathe. It’s been a busy day for me and I know that in a few weeks things will settle down and I’ll fall back into a routine and groove. I had a great weekend and I made sure to make it extra awesome because I knew that this week was going to kind of suck. And when I already think that way about things I get really discouraged because who wants to think about the days ahead and already know they suck? I sure as hell don’t. Saturday me and The Man are finally going to go see our friends in California which I’m truly excited about. But until then, I’ll be searching high and low for silver linings and things that make me smile because otherwise, I might crack.
So today’s silver lining is that I at least have a job. As much as I complain about having to work and wanting to stay home with my girls, I can’t. I need the money. And so since I HAVE to work I’m grateful for the job that I have because it could be a hell of a lot worse.
And without this girl right here, my world would definitely crumble a little bit more. So that’s silver lining number 2. Livie…who still lets me take tons of pictures of her everyday without complaining or rolling her eyes.
Here’s to hoping for a better week than I expected and to silver linings because we all need them.
Constant battle
If you’re a mom who works outside the home, you totally know how I’m feeling. It’s a constant battle for me- working full time, being gone 12 hours a day, and leaving my kids behind. Because that’s how it feels to me…that I’m leaving them behind. I know that I HAVE to work to have money to pay for the things that give them a decent life. I know that one day they’ll look back and appreciate it just as I appreciate how hard my mom worked to give us things. We barely saw her during the week but it was all for us. That’s how it is now with my kids but oh, does it hurt. I have family and friends that don’t work but their husbands have these big time supervisor jobs for oil companies and I secretly wish that Hubs would quit his current job and do something like that. Something that would allow me to stay home. He loves his job though and the last thing I would want is for him to be stuck working a lot at a job he hates. I hate working…but I don’t actually hate this job. It’s the fact that I have to leave my kids that kills me.
I took a day off in April to go on a field trip with Hannah. I did this because she asked me to. What sucked was when she said to me “Don’t forget to ask your boss for permission ok?”
That stung.
The fact that I have to ask permission to be with my child. How is that fair? I mean, everyone who works has to ask for a day off. But still…chokes me up everytime to think that I have to ask to be with my kid if it’s a work day. It’s just not fair as so often many things in life aren’t.
So now I’m quite excited about this field trip. I’m excited that I get to go and be there for her since most days I can’t.
I was given this blog post to read yesterday and I cried through the whole thing. It gave me hope. It gave me some insight. Mostly, it reminded me of things I already knew. I’m not saying that I’ll ever get over this. I know myself and I know that I’ll always hate working all day and always hate the fact that I can’t be a stay at home mom. But to remember that there are other moms out there who are going through the same exact thing, well this is all for you.
For us.
Back to work
I’ve mentioned countless times on here how badly I wanted to quit working when I had Livie. and then it was like a real possibility. And as soon as I got super excited about NOT working, the dream came crashing down. Hubs had to bring me back into reality that he’s only a cop and makes crap pay. I make 1/2 of our income. Choosing a career or job isn’t always about the money, but sometimes it is hard to remember that. losing all that…there’s just no way. We still want to refinance our house and pay off our debt. But even after that…and even with me working part time…we just don’t think it’ll work. We don’t see HOW it can work. I mean, I’m sure lots of people make things work on VERY limited money BUT we like to buy stuff….like you know, from target and not from the dollar store. And we like to travel…and heck, for me it’s really about just being able to see my mom in Ohio! That’d be next to impossible if i was working part time. So THEN I thought ok fine i’ll work full time but closer to home so i can get home earlier. but THEN I thought it’d be pointless to NOT come back here if i was already gonna be working full time. i’ve been here for 7 years. and I have 3 weeks vacation every year…seniority..awesome health benefits…etc. So it’s like almost for sure I have to come back here. Being gone 12 hours a day from my baby is NOT something I’m looking forward to. I will get my 3 months maternity leave so that’s good. and i pray that when i have to come back the days aren’t so horrible for me. i’m grateful that we don’t have to go the pricey day care route…Hubs’s mom and Hubs will split having the baby during the day and I will of course all evening and night. Oh yeah, Hubs’s back to nightshift now…his special assignment on dayshift has come to an end. Total bummer. So anyway, Hubs will have Livie Mondays and Tuesdays all day and then Wednesday Thursday and Friday his mom will have her til noon and then he’ll have her the rest of the day. I’m struggling with this because we all know what I went through with Nettie NOT really caring about me coming home at night up until about last year because she had been with her nana and dad all day. I’m planning to really stick with nursing this time and continue to nurse after i go back to work so the baby will be excited to see me when i get home. sorta selfish i know but it’ll benefit her too. So that’s the latest. sucks. I hate it. but I gotta do what i gotta do. I’m hoping that after i come back i can really get into photography or SOMETHING that’ll give me some extra money outside the house so many i CAN go part time in the future. but for now, with this job being extremely steady and not subject to the crappy economy…I gotta come back here. for the sake of my family. For the sake of Nettie’s school and dance tuition. For the sake of Livie’s diapers and clothes and bottles and everything else a baby means. I know I’m not the only mom who works full time and is away from her baby all day. BUT I don’t have to like it. And I don’t. At all.
Happy Secretary's Day!
i’m having a happy one so far! i got these gorgeous flowers from my bosses
and they’re all boys too! they did a good job! and they’re all taking me to lunch today. hey, its on them! lol. so i hope all you secretaries out there have a fabulous day. i know i will!
Done
that is, i’m done talking about american idol here UNTIL sunjaya is gone, k? and to even think that chris richardson was almost kicked out before him. for the love of god. i can’t take it anymore. i can’t even talk about it here til he’s gone. k? dont worry. we still have dancing with the stars 
so instead today i will talk about my friend mistie who quit work yesterday. she’s going off to work somewhere else. and we’ve had 2 weeks to accept her leaving. cept i haven’t accepted it yet. she sits facing me at work and i really love her! she’s so funny and sweet and totally makes my day so much more fun at work since i HAVE to be here. so we had a little going away party for her yesterday and choked back tears as she gave her little goodbye speech.
we’ll miss ya girl. xo
Another elevator story
So this morning i’m in the elevator with another guy that works here. and we get off and he’s like “hey, i gotta tell you what happened in there yesterday” so i was like “what?” and he’s like ” a woman in there seriously looked at me and asked me ‘so i just push the button of the floor i want to go to?’” i just looked at him with this blank look and said “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”
no lady. you just telepathically dream the floor you want to go to and *poof* you’re there! how the hell else are you gonna get to the floor? and um, were you born in 1827 and dont know how to use an elevator? that floored me. seriously floored me.
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