I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated y’all on my weight loss. I kind of suck because I’ve lost 19 pounds and I didn’t tell y’all! WTF is wrong with me?! It’s been a slow 19 lbs but losing slow is better and definitely best for me since I won’t gain it all back if I eat like crap for a weekend.
Which I do. EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND. I’m in a slump. I eat well all week and then pig out all weekend so I’ve been at 19 lbs lost for like almost a month now. And I’ve grown content because I’m down a size and ALMOST down 2 sizes…maybe 5 more lbs will give me that extra size? ANYWAY my point is that I need to get off my ass and start working out again and lose the last 11 pounds that I had set as a goal. It’s easy to get content when I’ve lost over 1/2 of what I wanted to and people tell me I look great and I look at pictures of myself then and now.
And since this is usually a photo kinda blog, I took it upon myself to embarass myself and post a picture of me from before I lost weight. I see this and I think man, you’ve done good Beck! And I also shake my head that I let myself go like that. I know that I wasn’t obese but I was far from what I wanted to be.
I wanted to look healthier…to BE healthier for me and my family. And here’s me now.
First thing I always noticed in old pictures of myself that I hated was my arms. I hated how fat they looked and how much they shook if I waved or danced. Not anymore!
My face is A LOT thinner.
I can wear tight shirts again! I would have never worn this shirt months ago.
Skinnier arms and skinnier face together in one pic. SCORE FOR ME!
But then I think about how much better I’ll feel in 11 more pounds…and how different I’ll look again in 11 more pounds. So I’m on a mission. I’m going to start working out again and eating better EVEN on the weekends when it’s the hardest. I lost 19 pounds so I damn sure know I can lose another 11.
On a side note, a big reason I needed to lose weight was to get my blood pressure under control. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago and it was still majorly high. I know it has to be stress related as I’ve lost weight but my doctor insists on me seeing another doctor about this to get further anaylzed. Part of me feels like a failure. I’ve busted ass to get my weight under control hoping it’d get my blood pressure under control. No such luck. So now we have to figure out if it’s a stress thing or if it’s deeper…such as a hereditary since everyone in my dad’s family has high blood pressure. So I’ll keep you posted on that.
In the meantime, I’m back to kicking ass and taking names on this weight loss.
Friday evening I went home with a completely bummed outlook on life. I was still thinking about my dad and even though I told myself that Dad wouldn’t want me to bum around or sulk, I just couldn’t shake it. So I did what I normally do when I feel that way. I took pictures of my girls. And it’s like they knew that their mama needed to be lifted up because everything they did was so cute and whenever I need to focus or redirect I just have to look through my lens. A different view on what’s already in front of me.
Livie has this tendency to get into EVERYTHING she’s not supposed to get into. Usually I’m chasing after her telling her no but that night I decided I’d get it documented to show her that she really was quite a little spazz.
Trying to steal the remote.
Trying to reach my purse
ALMOST getting my purse which by the way I only noticed while I was editing because my focus was on Hannah in HER own purse and then I saw Livie’s little hand on the bottom of the frame. Stinker.
And while I worked out Livie got super antsy and crabby and Hannah decided to step in and be a mama to her. So in the middle of my work out I just walked away and got a picture because I couldn’t let the moment go by.
So that was my Friday and by the end of the night I was feeling ok again. My girls, once again, healed me.
And since I mentioned working out, I will say that I’ve officially lost 15 pounds so far. I’m halfway to my goal weight and I feel great.
Saturday morning I woke up and forgot it was my birthday for about 5 minutes. We just laid in bed and talked to Livie and groaned that it was too early to be up like we do every Saturday. And like every other Saturday I grabbed my phone off the dresser and checked my email. I had 27 unread emails and I thought to myself “What the heck? How do I have that many unreads?” and once I opened up my email and saw they were all Facebook messages alerting me that my friends and family were leaving me birthday messages…that’s when I said out loud “Oh yeah! It’s my birthday!” I got over 50 happy birthday messages on Facebook and about 20 on Twitter. I can’t stress enough the good those did me. The Man worked all day Saturday and I ran errands and fought with the girls who didn’t want to behave AT ALL while we were in stores. It was hot and I was sweaty going in and out of places and I finally called The Man at work with an exhausted sigh and whined that my day went from fabulous to sucking. Then he said he was coming home in an hour and that perked me up. We had plans to go to dinner and a movie later on so I put my best face on and headed home from the parking lot of Target where I had a minor breakdown. And like the night before, I took picture because I needed a pick me up. And it worked.
Dinner was good. The movie, Inception, was great. And yesterday we slept in because the girls were gone and ran more errands and relaxed before our family pictures in the evening. Hannah wouldn’t let me get a picture of her all dressed up but the baby did, per usual.
I can’t wait to get these pictures back. Livie was a mess and did not cooperate at all and it was 95 degrees and my hair was huge and frizzy and we were sweaty BUT I still think they’re gonna be awesome. I can’t wait to see them. And on our way home from the session I was thankful that I had the opportunity to get the camera that I always wanted with the lens I always wanted to get good pictures of my girls on my own because there are times, like at that session, where Livie won’t smile and Hannah complains about the mosquitos while sweat is dripping down her nose. It’s then that I’m glad I get good shots at home because my baby girl usually is all smiles.
And all of this, everything I put up in this post, healed me. And I know that is something my dad would be happy about.