Life out of Focus

When I blogged that miserable cry for help post on Friday I honestly didn’t think my update today would be better. Well, it is Both of Livie’s top teeth finally popped through her gums so she’s been A LOT happier since then. Her sleeping is still not back to normal BUT I did get SOME rest this weekend which was much needed. Yesterday I successfully managed to NOT leave my house OR get dressed all day. It was great. I sent Hubs to watch the Superbowl with friends and Hannah went with her Nana so me and Liv vegged for the whole game. Totally was the best part of my weekend to be honest. I still feel like I’ve been run over by a truck because now I’m sick. AGAIN. But whatever…I GOT TO SLEEP. Finally.

So, since I was feeling a bit more cheery this weekend I decided to take pictures of Livie because it was her last weekend to be 11 months old. To be a baby. Because I feel like once she’s a year old, that kinda makes her into a toddler and not so much a baby anymore. Although, we all know that they’re always our babies no matter how old they are, right?

I gotta add that everytime I take pictures of Hannah she begs me to do one serious and one silly. Everytime I say yes although I don’t always send them out or post them here. This one was post worthy though

And probably my favorite of the whole weekend. She was waiting for Daddy to come home. I love her expression. I just love her.

I just love them.

An update to the teething: the teeth have both popped through so I’m PRAYING that things will calm down. As of yesterday, they haven’t. Hannah never teethed. Like, she got her teeth and never cared a thing about it. I feel like a frazzled first time mother who’s about to lose it.

An update to the sleep situation: there isn’t one. We’re still not sleeping much. I might as well have a tiny 5 day old newborn at home with all the sleep I’m NOT getting. Except at least when I had a 5 day old newborn I wasn’t working. Getting up, working, and being gone for 12 hours a day is not going well with me. It’s finally taking it’s toll on me. Last night I was just in a daze most the evening and this morning I woke up with ANOTHER cold when I just had one a month ago. The not sleeping is killing my immune system. I’m getting to the point where I’m feeling depressed. Like I just need a freakin light at the end of the tunnel. SOMETHING.

I’ve been sad for Livie to turn 1 for months now. But after this week, I’m ready to have a 3 year old with a full vocabulary and all her teeth. The teething tablets and oragel and ice packs only work for so long. Plus, my kid goes against the grain and any advice anyone has ever given me regarding her has not worked or barely worked at best. She just is a different kind of baby I guess. The kind that medicine doesn’t work on….the kind who slept like crap to begin with but even that was better than this. The kind that is sweet and loving and cute most days but has mutated into this child that I didn’t recognize at all this week.

So that’s where I’m at right now. That’s all I got people. Updates to come on Monday. They better be better than this one.

We’ve had interesting nights the past 2 nights in my house. I’ve said it a few times how Livie’s sleep patterns are hardly predictable and I can count on 1 hand the number of times she’s slept all night. The thing is though that since I’m used to this (sadly) I consider that the norm for her. She starts in her crib at night but usually wakes up somewhere between midnight and 2 am and comes into our bed. So Monday night when she did this, it was the norm. What was NOT the norm was when I got her and she kept crying. And crying. AND CRYING SOME MORE. Nothing calmed her down. I then remembered that Monday evening I felt 2 new teeth popping through her top gums…her front 2 teeth. I was so excited about this at that point in the night. My baby is gonna have 4 teeth. WOOT!

Now I hate those teeth.

She was up from 2 to 5 am Monday night. Crying for most the time…whining for some of the time. Nothing made this girl happy. Finally she dozed off at 5 and at that point when Hubs told me “you should stay home with her tomorrow” I decided he was a wise man and agreed. So I stayed home with her yesterday from work. I listened to advice from awesome friends and got her some teething tablets. They worked for during the day. Until she started getting sick of me shoving dissolvable little squares into her mouth and started spitting them out. I gave her motrin before bed hoping our night would be better. I even said a prayer OUT LOUD that she do better because 2 nights of that would be all I could take.

Last night was somewhat better. She didn’t scream and cry BUT she was up every hour. I’d give her her paci. She’d go back to sleep. Spit out the paci. Wake up crying for it. I’d give it to her. She’d fall asleep. She’d wake up crying for it. Rinse lather REPEAT. ALL NIGHT LONG. I considered that an improvement though from Monday night.

I love this baby more than life itself. I do. I am also loving the idea of Hubs getting snipped more and more. THIS I could do again:

 There is no way I can mentally do the past 2 nights again, though.

Dear Mr. Sandman, Please pay a visit to my baby tonight. And me. Thanks.

(If you don’t use Twitter this is going to sound like a foreign language to you. I apologize in advance.)

I lock my tweets on Twitter. That means that unless you request to follow me, you can’t see what I’m saying. Most days I like this because I don’t care for people at work or my family reading what I say all the time. I realize that my blog is public but I honestly censor this blog a lot. I have to. My Facebook has a lot of family and friends on there but I censor that too. My twitter is uncensored. Because of that, I don’t have any work people or any family or really any IRL friends that follow me. I like it that way. A few things though that I DON’T like about it:

1. Friday I found out that since I protect my tweets, if I send a tweet to someone who doesn’t follow me, they won’t see it. This is new. I’ve been locked for a long time and I KNOW I’ve gotten replies from people who don’t follow me. That pisses me off. I get that Twitter probably figures “hey you locked your tweets for a reason. So if someone doesn’t follow you, they’re not gonna see what you say even if you direct it to them.” Well guess what Twitter? That sucks and I don’t like it.

2. Since I’m locked I have to approve people who request to follow. Usually I’ll see (if their stream is public) who they talk to and if they share friends with me, I’ll approve them and follow them back. Sometimes though I get requests and I don’t see any mutual friends and so I’ll hit deny. Except that this weekend it dawned on me that maybe some of those requests were blog readers…and I just didn’t know it because Twitter has yet to add in a feature like Facebook has where if you request someone you can also send a message. That’d be helpful.

I love Twitter. I love it so much. It’s my favorite social networking thing to do. BUT OMG it has some issues and I so dearly wish they’d get on the ball with this stuff.

I won’t even get into how I think their following/followers lists should be easier to navigate than just scroll scroll scroll until you find who you need. DUMB.

SO, if you read my blog and request to follow me please send me an email and let me know that you’ve requested to follow me so I don’t just think you’re some random person. And if you’ve already done that and I denied you, I’m sorry. Send me an email to let me know, k?

Lastly, if you work for Twitter, email me. I’ve got a bone to pick with you.

The other night after I tucked Hannah in and told her how much we loved her after our talks about school, I turned to walk out of her room when she stopped me to tell me something. She’s been asking for a kitten for weeks now. We already have 2 dogs so the thought of adding a cat into this mix is mind boggling to me and yet I miss having cats so much that I actually said maybe. Then I told Hubs that we were getting a cat. LOL So after agreeing on that, Hannah immediately began asking for a kitten every.single.day. Since our talk a few nights ago we told her we could get a kitten AFTER her grades stayed good for longer than just a few days in a row.

So last night as I was walking out of her room, she stopped me and says “Mom, here’s what I think. If we can find a way to get more money we can give MORE to Haiti and then if we have any left, we can get the kitten. Sound good?”

I just smiled, choked back tears and said “Yes baby. That sounds great”.

We must be doing SOMETHING right.